navigator and captain

charting the college journey

I remember the day he was born. The times just watching him sleep and breathe. Dips in the pool. The first day of preschool. A love of all things dinosaurs. Homeschool. The day he accidentally deleted a saved file on GameCube and I stayed up late just to get the game back to where he left off. Gymnastics, tae kwon do, fencing.  Days on the beach. Guiding his artistic abilities and his musicianship. Talks about respect, love, relationships. Then suddenly, he graduates from high school, and in the same summer, he leaves for college.

Those eighteen years were spent shaping his person, his character, his values - often just by his simply living under the same roof with us, his family. He has a bit of me, a bit of my wife, a bit of his relationship with his siblings and birth order, a bit of his environment growing up. All of it contributed to who he is, along with the spirit of his being, the angel prior to his physical form. He journeyed with us on uncharted water, and together we sought horizons near and far.

Now he embarks on the next leg of a journey that he makes alone. In spirit, we're with him. In love, we're with him. But at eighteen, and college-bound, he tests his own decision-making processes, and he develops trust and confidence in himself. How does one learn to navigate through life without the opportunity to think, feel, and act independently?

We helped him move into his dorm room, his whole family did. He is only five hours away. I have some level of peace as I carry the image of his space, his bed, his roommate, the campus, the city, which he will call his new home, his new proving ground, his new uncharted sea.

I carry the memories of his childhood. He will not be gone long; he will return from his journey a man with new skills, new knowledge, new insights. He will continue to forge his own path as he is his own navigator and captain. And I will continue to love him.